Jayla

05:32 pm: So. I'm not going to use this journal anymore. I'm tossing it out of the house like a redheaded stepchild.

I've made a new one instead: it's here

Friend me if you want to.

11:28 am: Hchokay. So.

My one day off of the session is on Tuesday, specifically from 11AM - 3PM on Wednesday. That means one night of freedom.

Anyone in the area who wants to visit me? Or, for that matter, anyone want to travel to Saratoga Springs, NY to visit me? I know it's quite the last minute request to make, but I figure you'll say no if you don't want to, no matter how much I try to guilt you.

I'm just really friendsick up here. And I'm not above bribes. Remember that.

08:52 pm: and by PM, I mean AM
Just went to my first passionfruit. It was so sad. It brought my back to my last day, when I literally felt like my life was ending, like I had finally found a place where I wasn't made fun of and I could feel like myself and free only to have the world was tear it away from me because of my age. I have since come into myself in a number of ways and found other environments, like Hampshire, to feel free in... but just the memory of that last day brought me close to tears. I wanted to reassure these students that it'll be alright, but I don't think they'd believe me.

Remember Dewfruit? Oh man, those were good times.

Forgive me for my constant nostalgia... I swear, I'm not this bad in person. I mostly just reminisce in this journal, where some people know what I'm talking about.

10:42 pm: Dude.

I'm an RA. AT CTY.

It's weird. Very cool, busy, demanding weird.

I have the best hall ever, though. I only have nine girls, they are writing people (pop culture, to be exact), and they are awesome. The only issue we've had so far is them being so excited to talk to each other that it's hard to get through the announcements.

10:29 pm: I think I need to start work earlier than it will actually start.

Being at home seems to consist of short periods of really happy moments interspersed with much longer periods of emo-time. I'm either annoyed at my parents/sister for saying something offensive or feeling extremely guilty because I told my parents/sister how angry I was and in the process said something that I regret, thereby ruining their days, when they work so hard and I don't.

Also, I was planning on going to Boston this week, but I'm beginning to think I won't go, because I feel guilty for not spending enough time with the family before I go to CTY. I'm thinking maybe I'll stay home instead and make it up to them by being an awesome sister and following through on at least some of the plans we made. I'm also thinking that if I stay home, I'll go insane.

I don't know.

08:56 pm: I am sitting here with Claire and showing her the joys of online journals. (She is giggling.)

ladidadi da di edsdfgbyhhffg1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

poo

(Claire typed the second two lines, actually.)

(Well, actually, the third line was all me.)

]levk3jhlrtqik;uh ladida!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Claire again. What a literary genius.)

02:47 am: So. An update on... myself. Hooray for livejournal and narcissistic forms of procrastination!

Everything seems to be due this week and the majority of it is due on my birthday. Kinda sucks. But on the bright side, this weekend is going to be kickass! To actually get things done must be a great feeling. I haven't had that since before Subroutine. Since before this semester, really.

I kind of miss Subroutine. Mostly because of the people... such a fun group of people. And we didn't even get to have a cast party.

So I officially got the job: I'm going to be an RA at Saratoga CTY this summer! It's going to be weird, to have all those amazing memories of that place, yet be on the other side of it all. I hope I won't start acting like an old lady, like
"Back in my day, we didn't actually need to be chaperoned in town."
or
"When I was a student here, we used to sit on this bench, and make fun of people, and rate how phallic my friend was on a scale of one to ten... It was so cool!"
Campers: *back away slowly*

I'm really going to miss this year when it ends. I feel like I've come so far since last year, let loose a lot more, felt free to try more things. I'll miss Mod 7, too, down to the very last ant. (not really)

02:24 am: ( ignore this if you're not Joey )

06:31 am: So this weekend, I got off campus. I went to New York to visit friends for two days, then I headed home for about a day. It wasn't exactly the thrilling, insightful, mind-opening experience I was hoping for, but it was definitely a break for my brain.

I think a nice thing that I realized from visiting a bunch of people (most of whom were family) and leaving other friends back at school is that I'm not always a nuisance. Some people need me. But that's a really scary thought too, because what if I can't do enough to help the people that need me? And they're all in different places, so how can I be there for all of them at once? And what about (as corny as this sounds) being there for myself?

Edited: I forgot to mention how awesome the people that I saw this weekend are. Also, that I can't until Spring Break. If I end up doing anything for Spring Break, that is.

09:50 am: Hey, Hampshire People!

Any of you driving to/through NYC tomorrow, by any chance? I will pay for your gas! Also, I'll shower you with lovin' of the platonic sort.